Phone Tag
by Crackpot Marathon on Wheels
Summary: Started by Grapevine and Honeycomb in Chinese class and originally written in a Jack Sparrow notebook, Phone Tag is the tale of what would have happened in cell phones existed in Kingdom Hearts. Expect chaos and bad answering machine messages.


And the Crosscountry Trio posts up thier first story EVAR. Hee. Obviously not the first thing we've written though. So, seeing as this is our first story, I suppose I should introduce the three of us. I'm Grapevine, your master of all things techy (purely because the other two are too lazy). Next to me (in SPIRIT!) is Honeycomb. And next to her (also in SPIRIT since she lives in a different state, thus the "crosscountry trio") is Rosebush. We are the writers of all things crack related. There's more info in our profile.

This particular story was written by Honeycomb and Grapevine (meeeeeee) in Chinese class. Of course, to make sure you don't think we don't LISTEN in Chinese class, I will now ask you disregard that last statement. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and let you get on with reading.

We are the Crosscountry Trio Crackpot Marathon on Wheels, and this is Phone Tag.

---------------------------

Chapter 1: Meanwhile.

"Soraaaa!" Mary-Sue Eleanor Lyssa Mooshie Fuzzomsia called from outside Sora's bedroom door.

"Yeah, mom?" Sora replied. He was sprawled out on his bed, a hand over his eyes, exhausted from a day of running around the island with Kairi and Riku.

"I got you a new cell phone!" Mary-Sue Eleanor Lyssa Mooshie Fuzzomsia said, grinning happily as she entered her son's bedroom.

"Uhhn?" Sora said, blinking blearily at his mom.

"Here." Mary-Sue Eleanor Lyssa Mooshie Fuzzomsia handed the phone to her son, "And clean your room." Then she flounced merrily down the stairs.

Sora glanced at the phone with a sigh. "So how does this thing work, anyway?" he asked no one in particular, seeing as there was no one in the room except him. He blinked at it for a moment, then tossed the odd little plasticky device into a pile of dirty clothes at the foot of his bed. "I'll deal with you in the morning." He mumbled, and promptly fell asleep.

---

Sora's dreams were troubled once again, his rest fitful, plagued with images of cloaked men and creaking open doors, and through it all a deep voice that was somehow both chilling and reassuring.

When he woke up, he noticed a storm raging outside the window. He bolted up, with a shout of, "The raft!" If there hadn't been a screen on the window, Sora would have jumped through it in an attempt to get to the island faster. Luckily, there WAS a screen on his window, so Sora didn't have to worry about breaking his precious bones. Unless he fell down the stairs…

But Sora wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking something along the lines of "OHGODTHERAFT!OHNOMUSTGETTORAFT!" These thoughts caused him to trip when he reached his boat. After rebalancing himself, he jumped into his boat and started rowing at lightning speed.

After what seemed like weeks of battling the normally cam sea gone frothy and stormy, Sora stumbled gasping upon the island.

---

Meanwhile, Riku stood next to a swirling dark vortex of doom, or doom-related subjects, anyway. He was tapping his foot impatiently, a cell phone pressed to his ear. Rrrring. Rrrrrring. Rrrrriiing. "Dammit, Sora. What's the point of you having a cell phone if you don't pick up?" he grumbled. Finally, it went to the answering machine. Not having been set up properly by its owner yet, Sora's phone had a default message in one of those really irritating, monotone female voices that sounded like it belonged to a serial killer.

Riku ground his teeth and waited for the voice to finish, glancing nervously at the evil vortex of evil and… dark things likes chocolate pudding and Oreos, but EVIL chocolate pudding and EVIL Oreos. Like bitter… and evil. ANYWAY. Riku was all antsy, waiting for the woman to shut up.

"Hello, you have reached [NUMBERS DELETED FOR SORA'S SAFETY. Leave a message after the tone."

Riku sighed into the phone, "Hey, Sora. It's me, Riku. Your mom gave me and Kairi your new cell number, so… yeah, uh, I'm standing here next to this pretty cool looking vortex thing, and I think I'm gonna go ahead and jump in… Just wondering if you wanted to come. Seems like fun, you know. Anyway, just let me know."

---

Kairi cowered in a corner of the secret place, the hidden cave with all the creepy drawings on the walls, as Heartless swarmed past. So far they hadn't seen her (they may have been too preoccupied by said creepy drawings. Really, what was going through Riku and Sora's minds when they drew those? Well, except for the one SHE'D drawn with Sora. Now, that one she liked. Wait, right, Kairi's hiding here. Got it.) If she could just stay quiet a little longer…

"DEEDLE-EEEDLE-DOOO-DEEEE-DAAAA-DAAAA!"

"Aww, crap!" Kairi shrieked as Heartless pounced on her.

---

Meanwhile, Riku hung up his cell phone, "Kairi ALWAYS answers her phone." He muttered, "I wonder what's wrong…" he sighed, not knowing he was the indirect cause of Kairi losing her heart. He looked at the swirling vortex, tapping his foot with impatience. Finally he sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Sora's never gonna get here in time." He muttered to himself, then she shrugged. "Oh well!"

And with that flippant remark, Riku made the leap that would ruin his life forever, turning him into an angsty angst-magnet wracked with perpetual guilt and angst. D

---

Sora, meanwhile, was running towards the raft, jumping over strange black things that seemed to want to get in his way. Halfway to the raft, he noticed Riku about to jump into a portal. All thoughts of the raft gone at the sight of his best friend, Sora headed into the tiny shack to make his way up to the small island, all the while wondering why they didn't just build a ladder.

---

"GOOFY!" Donald ran through the many, many, MANY halls of Disney Castle. He didn't get it. He LIVED in the damn castle, so why was he always lost? Come to think of it, everyone had been late for a meeting once or twice because they'd gotten lost. Everyone… except King Mickey. He knew the castle like the back of his gloved hand.

But Donald couldn't concern himself with that right now. He had to find Goofy and tell him the news! What news? I'm not Donald, so how the hell should I know?!

---

Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle, Daisy could hear Donald's high pitched (and sometimes hard to understand) screams, and took out her cell phone. She dialed Donald's number and waited for the answer.

"Hello?" his voice FINALLY answered.

"Donald? It's Daisy."

"Oh, Daisy. Is something wrong?" Donald now sounded worried.

"You're looking for Goofy?"

"Yes." Donald answered. He didn't expect what came next, though he should have.

"CALL HIM, STUPID!"

---

Even meanwhiler, Riku was zooming through darkness into some unknown oblivion. "Oh jeez," you might say. "Oh my gawd," you are more likely to say. But Riku was saying something more along the lines of, "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!"

However, he would be mortified if he knew this interesting bit of information had been shared with the world, as it would completely destroy his reputation for emoness. So forget everything you've ever read.

---

Meanwhile, Kairi wasn't sure where she was, but she knew she missed her heart. She couldn't move without it, but she could definitely think, hear, and see. That was annoying her quite a lot. Unfortunately, she was also bored OUT OF HER MIND, and she couldn't even reach for her cell phone to play Tetris, the most addicting cell phone game on the face of the universe. She had no doubt that SOMEONE would notice her disappearance, but even that wouldn't help her current condition of extreme boredom.

---

And in the meanwhilest, Donald had FINALLY called Donald, only to get his answering machine.

"WAKE UP!" Donald shouted before hanging up. He'd never find Goofy at this rate.

---

Not really meanwhile, but actually before much of what has happened since we last saw him, Sora finally made it to the small island as Riku's portal friend vanished. Sora sighed, "All that running… and he's not even here… just great…"

With a shrug, Sora took off running again. Because that's what Sora does. He runs. "KAIIIIIRIIIII!" he screamed, like a little girl. But Kairi was nowhere to be found! WHAT?! WHAT IS A SORA TO DO WITHOUT A KAIRI?!

-------------------------------------

Reviews make us happy!


End file.
